Public Liability Insurance | Even reptiles can be covered!

The Great Public Liability Insurance Scandal!

Many of you may have heard the rumours: the world's elite - politicians, high-brow celebrities, royalty, wealthy businessmen - are actually an evil race of shape-shifting alien reptiles that are hell-bent on world domination.

In its most simple form, this outrageous claim is actually true: there ARE shape-shifting reptiles living among us (most of them are actually those wealthy socialites from the television - you know of whom I speak).

The truth, however, is far more sinister and unimaginable as it is downright sordid. To know the truth is to carry a heavy burden, and I blame none who wish to turn away now and continue living life without the knowledge I now possess, which haunts my dreams at night. So, read no further if you wish to live safely in your ignorance, holding dear to all that you take for granted. But please - do not chastise me should you decide to read on, for you have been warned...

Shape-shifting reptiles are managed, controlled and governed by none other than public liability insurance advisors.

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Yes, it is true - these friendly, helpful insurance advisors, for whom we all hold a special place close to our heart, would sooner make a tasty meal out of business owners (apparently human giblets make excellent gravy) than help locate a secure policy with excellent premiums.

Business owners beware: next time you scour the documents of a public liability insurance policy, read the small print; you may be signing away your rights to your own intestines, an area of the human digestive tract coveted by the shape-shifters, offering as it does an excellent source of iron.

So before you shake the hand of a public liability insurance advisor, let alone sign any policy documents, know the truth: that public liability insurance does not cover your business in the event a member of the public suffers an accident at your workplace; it covers YOUR bodily parts in the event YOU suffer an accident, allowing them - those evil reptilians - to claim your innards for their own culinary plans.

And don't even get me started on mortgage advisors...